THE THREE CLIMBERS
“Ouch! I think I cannot made it down the
mountain.”, cried Kevin. His leg was getting worst that he couldn’t even walk. Trey
and Nelson said that they need to get him down the mountain as quickly as
possible before it could even got more worse. So, they decided to go down the
mountain bringing him.
Can Kevin hold it?
Was he still alive when they got down
the mountain?
One day, there were
three climbers that decided to climb Mount Everest as it is the only major
mountain in the world they haven’t climb. Their names are Kevin, Trey and
Nelson. They were already best friends since high school. They began climbing
up small mountains and then the bigger ones.
Then, they began
their climb up to Mount Everest without telling anyone that they were going as
they knew it was dangerous.
As they were
climbing up the mountain, Kevin accidentally tripped and fell but was saved
from plummeting to his death by a ledge. A bigger problem was that he has
broken his leg. It hurts so badly, there was no one who could helped because
Trey and Nelson didn’t have medicine to cure his leg.
Sadly, it was night
and they had to stay at the mountain. They spent an uncomfortable night. The
temperature dropped and Kevin became ill. Trey and Nelson couldn’t continue the
journey because they didn’t want to leave Kevin, but they wanted to get help quickly
for Kevin.
i like this story. the first paragraph - the "ouch........" one is great. i think that make your story arent boring .but i didnt like the ending. i think its better if you continue the ending. :)
BalasHapusThis story is amazing. There are no grammatical errors i think and the way you explained, it is impressive.The thing is the ending is not as good as i expected you would do but overall you did a really good job. Keep make me impress by the way you explained and your story well done so, keep it up and be a good writer. Train more and harder if you do my advise i think you will grown as a good writer. God bless, i will pray so that you can improve as a good writer. Do my advise okay? well God Luck
BalasHapusThe ending of the story is in the first pragraph because last time we were asked to write the ending first. The ending is also a cliffhanger one.
Hapusi like the way you tell the story. for me, it is interesting. but, the ending of the story is understandable. i think you can do better than this. nice job :)
BalasHapusFor me, it's too short. Apart from that, the black background and the yellow font really hurt my eyes while reading all your writing it. White will be clearer, I'm sure.
BalasHapusFor me, it's too short. Apart from that, the black background and the yellow font really hurt my eyes while reading all your writing it. White will be clearer, I'm sure.
BalasHapus